I'm beginning to think I'm a hormonal train wreck. My emotions have been all over today, but mostly sad and teary eyed. I've been working on the girls' scrapbook. And I know that has something to do with it. My new mission is to get it done before I take even one hpt. I feel like that chapter in my book (no pun intended) must be closed before I open another one. It is so hard to be trying to conceive again. And I knew it would be. But attempting to do this book and being in the 2ww are just a recipe for emotional disaster. Every page I finish just hurts a little more. I want so much to have all their things in one beautiful keepsake but actually doing it makes me feel like I'm one step closer to forgetting them. In other news, Burt and I have been fighting like cats and dogs. I don't know how it's going to be possible for our precious little embie(s) to implant in there with such a stressful and traumatic environment. I spent a little time tonight trying to explain to him just how hard this is for me. I don't think he gets it, of course, but at least he pretended to listen. I thought for a slight second that he was comprehending but that all came crashing down when I attempted to show him the pages of the scrapbook that I got finished and he started huffing and puffing. He says he didn't mean to if he did, but he doesn't think he did. Even worse! He did it subconsciously without even meaning too! I wish he could feel the pain in my heart for just one day. He might just take it easy on me.
Abby got her second tooth pulled today. She was pretty nervous but did awesome! Today was picture day for my big kindergartner. I hope he smiled nice and opened his big blue eyes nice and wide.
Well I can't stop yawning and I just know my headache won't go away until I'm asleep so I must turn in for the night. Thanks for listening. Again. Oh yea but before I forget...I want to do a symptom check everyday. Just to make myself a bit more crazy. Today is 3dpo and I've had a killer headache for about 5 hours now. My back is throbbing and as you can see I'm an emotional wreck. If that weren't enough I am so bloated probably due to he gas factor. Sorry, TMI! Until tomorrow!
Good night my angel baby girls! I love you with every fiber of my being. xoxo
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