My faith has been restored!!

From my first appointment on Oct 30th, 2009

So today at 12:30pm was my first prenatal appointment with Becca. I was a bit nervous heading back to the same doctors office visiting with the same midwife in the same room as my last visits, but surprisingly I now feel like I've continued with my healing process and I feel good instead of sad. I went to the appointment early but forgot that they're on lunch until 12:30. Soon enough though I was done filling out paper work and going back to get weighed. They checked my blood pressure which came back at 118/74. Great! Then a urine sample, and then to wait for Becca. When she came in she was as cheery as she always is and greeted me with a smile. We first started with a recap of this summer's events. She was out from surgery for most of my last few visits there so she wanted my story first hand. I told her everything. Reliving it was hard and I choked back tears quite a bit. I explained about the 16 week visit when Lindsay couldn't find a heartbeat and then the u/s at DCMH with Stefan and the initial diagnosis. I explained about the testing done at Jefferson and the final diagnosis and the D&E. We talked about how the kids handled things and how Burt and I survived. She was very interested and caring. After all the catch up talk we started talking about this pregnancy. She has my due date listed as June 24th, 2010. I told her about the u/s scheduled for Nov 9th and she added info about the sequential screening to the referral. The sequential screening includes some blood work and an u/s done at around 12 weeks and then another in depth u/s done at 18 weeks. This will rule out Trisomy 13,18, and 21. It will also rule out spina bifida. My main reason is just to know the baby is doing okay. Not only do I get to know all the test results but I get to see pumpkin and reassure myself that everything is okay. Becca seems willing to do whatever she can to make me less nervous about this pregnancy. She has really restored my faith in the midwives. I'm so happy!! I didn't want to leave their practice because I love all of them so much but I knew I needed more care then I thought they'd be willing to provide and now I'm so happy to know they agree with the extra testing. I did my initial pregnancy labs which included a test for cystic fibrosis and an HIV test. Then I got my first ever flu shot. I'm supposed to call back next Friday to see if they got any more H1N1 shots back in. I walked out of there feeling PREGNANT! Some days it's so hard to remind myself that as of right now, I AM PREGNANT. I get so caught up in what could be wrong that I forget to be grateful that I am pregnant and I have another chance. My throat is starting to hurt which worries me a bit. Please God, don't let me be getting sick. I need to be well to keep this baby(s) well. Only 10 more sleeps to go!!!

My feelings about the pregnancy today: Today I feel confident. I feel like we're going to see a heartbeat or heartbeats on that u/s next Monday. I am happy feeling pregnant. I need to enjoy it, every day of it.

Symptoms: Headache, fatigue, a bit of nausea when hungry, and trouble sleeping through the night. I've been having some crazy vivid dreams too.

What am I most looking forward to: Now that I have my insurance, and my first appointment has come and gone, I am most looking forward to the ultrasound on Monday morning. What I am least looking forward to: Jury Duty!!