Thursday, October 15, 2009

A review


Daddy's pumpkin surprise!

I don't have a pregnancy journal yet for this pregnancy. I'm almost afraid to jinx myself so I haven't yet made the purchase. So I really need to recap things here before I forget.

On Oct 11th (Sunday) I was 8dpo. My temp had dipped that morning. I knew that was either a really really good sign (implantation dip) or the beginning of a really bad thing (AF). I did however notice that when I brushed ,my teeth before church I started gagging. For me that was one of the earliest symptoms I had when I was pregnant with the girls. I just knew I was pregnant. That night I had decided to do another dollar store HPT. I snuck into the bedroom to check it every few minutes. The wait was torture even though I knew the chances of it being positive this soon were slim to none. But to my surprise, I thought I had noticed a second line appearing. A very very very faint line. One that any normal non HPT testing fool would not even notice. If I had showed Burt that test he would've thought I was crazy. I knew what I had to do. I had to go to Walmart in the morning to get a FRER.

On Oct 12th (Monday) I was 9dpo. My temp that morning had shot back up. In fact it was higher then any other day in that same cycle. I had a wonderful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I got up at 7am after temping and peed in a cup to save. I used one last dollar store HPT. I had a hard time seeing a line though. The one from the night before (8dpo) now had a faint but very noticeable line on it. I thought for sure it was an evaporation line but hoped I was wrong. The kids were home from school this day so I waited for Burt to leave for work and we headed to Walmart bright and early. I think we got back around 9:30am and I tested right away. I checked the time and sat at the computer with the test right next to me. I swore to myself that I wouldn't check it until 9 minutes had passed. I didn't want to look at it half way through and see no line, be disappointed and then wait an additional 5 minutes to really confirm a BFN. At the 9 minute mark hit I picked up the test and headed towards the bedroom light. I glanced at the test and couldn't initially see a line. Once I got to the light I twisted and tilted the test in every which direction. Finally I noticed it! There was a line! I couldn't contain my excitement and I had to call someone although Burt and I had decided to keep it a secret. As soon as I told her I felt a sense of disappointment in myself. Burt should've known first but I wanted to do something cute to surprise him with the news. I just knew I wouldn't be able to whip something up soon enough. I would've exploded had I not told someone. Shannon of course was cautiously excited. We started tossing ideas back and forth on how I could tell Burt. I must've looked at that HPT 20 times that day. I hoped the line would get darker but it was still really faint. Even if I had wanted to tell Burt that day I would also have never shown him this test. He might've saw the line but he would've been very pessimistic because of how light it was. He wouldn't of understood that I was only 9dpo!! AMAZING!!

On Oct 13th (Tuesday) I was 10dpo. My temp again stayed super high and I was happy. I woke up at 7am and peed in a cup again. I dipped a FRER and watched the clock. This time though I also had to be getting the kids ready for school. In between getting the toaster down to make waffles and waking up Nathan I checked on the test periodically. After a few minutes I started to notice a second line. Then the next time I checked it was getting darker. And darker. And darker. Finally at the ten minute mark it was a clear positive. I was pregnant and had the test to prove it to anyone who doubted it. I actually carried the test in my jean pocked and on the walk home from dropping the kids off at school I showed Shannon. She said, "Girl! You're pregnant!". It was music to my ears. Another trip to Walmart produced a second box of 3 FRER's and a 2 pack of Clearblue Easy digitals. I had been holding it in for like 4 hours when I finally got home and just had to use a digital. I dipped the stick and again waited. The little hourglass blinks for what seems like hours. And then it appeared. "Pregnant". I love those tests. Earlier in the day I had come up with an idea to surprise Burt and I ran it by Shannon. I had decided to go with a seasonal idea. I picked up a small pumpkin from Produce Junction. I then cleaned out the inside of it. Carved two triangle eyes, and a rectangle nose. I even carved a little square for a mouth and shoved in a real binky. I then drew a little curlie cue for hair and stuck an "I love daddy" bib around the bottom of it. I took tons of pictures. I even tied a little note to the stem of the pumpkin reading "The 3rd time is the charm babe. I'm pregnant!". I then stuck the digital HPT inside just in case he still didn't get it. The hardest part of this day was waiting for Burt to get home from work. At about 5:30 I set the pumpkin up on his dresser and locked my bedroom door. I couldn't let the kids see. They can't know yet. When Burt finally came home I told him I had a surprise for him. I opened the door and peeked in. He was like "Is there a live animal in there or something?!" I then told him his surprise was on his dresser. And that he should take a look and tell me what he thought. He walked in, looked at it, looked at me, and smiled. He looked confused. He said, "It's a baby pumpkin." I said, "Okay, well look inside of it." He looked inside saw a HPT and said, "You're pregnant!" I couldn't contain myself anymore. I was smiling from ear to ear. He even posed for a picture with our new little pumpkin.

On Oct 14th (Wednesday) I was 11 dpo. I woke up and my temp had dipped a bit. I of course was scared out of my mind. I then went ahead and did another FRER with my FMU. It was only 6:30am. I had woken up because I was anxious to test again and just couldn't sleep. So at 6:30 I sat on the couch and waited. Three minutes in there was a second line but it didn't seem to be getting very dark. Again I checked and it was getting darker but still seemed lighter or maybe just as dark as the one from 10dpo. My heart was sinking fast and I just prayed for it to continue getting darker. By the end of the 10 minute mark I was comparing the two tests side by side. The one from 11 dpo seemed to be more solid but didn't look much darker. It was hard to get motivated that morning. For the first time since I had gotten a positive HPT I was feeling a little pessimistic. After getting the kids to school I knew I had to get myself over to the midwives to get a pregnancy confirmation letter. After all I was pregnant. There were two lines. The midwives only do walk-in pregnancy tests until 11:30 am so I headed that way around 11am. I didn't want to go to early because I wanted the HCG to have a chance to build back up in my urine. I walked into the office, told them why I was there, filled out some paper work, and peed in a cup.I checked my phone for the time. It was 11:24am. I knew my test would be complete by 11:34am. I was definitely nervous this time. Not nervous like the first time when I was pregnant with Abby, but not confident in the tests like I was with the twins. I thought maybe their HPT's might not be as sensitive. I couldn't have handled it if they had come out and told me it was negative. Finally Bernadette came out to the waiting room. She looked right at me and said, "C'mon back!" I said to her, "It's never a good thing when the midwife knows exactly who you are and doesn't even have to call your name." She said, "Sure it is!" We went into a little conference room and she said, "What kind of protection are you using?" (my heart sank why would I need protection if the test was positive?) Then she said, "I mean were you using?" I looked at her and said, "I guess that means it's positive?" A feeling of relief washed over me as she held up the test from across the rug and I could see two lines. She then tossed the test in the trash. We sat and chatted for a few minutes about when my last period was, when the D&E was, and when we had sex. I told her we only had sex that one time. I wasn't in the mood to hear any lectures about how we should've waited. She didn't seem upset at all though. In fact I got many congratulations from her. We talked briefly about how my care would be if I did continue with the midwives for the pregnancy and how I would get my first ultrasound at 7 weeks. She even said they would send me to the 4th floor, perinatology, for the scan. They have better ultrasound machines there. I left her office that day feeling very content. I immediately chirped Burt at work to tell him the good news. Unfortunately I forgot to tell him to put his phone on private and I blurted out "I got my pregnancy confirmation!" and Juan and Frankie both heard me. So much for our little secret. The both promised not to tell anyone. I guess we'll have to trust them. Later on at 2:30pm I had just finished cleaning out my top drawer and found 4 internet cheapie HPT's. I couldn't resist and took them. I dipped on in the pee I still had sitting from this morning. And I peed and dipped the other one in that. It had only been 3 hours since I had peed so I knew it might not be as dark as the FMU one. I was definitely surprised though when both tests showed up really really faint. The one from the FMU was noticeably darker then the one from the recent pee. Again, my heart sank and I couldn't shake the pessimism. I was instantly cranky. I knew I'd have to wait at least 5 hours to test again. Five hours of waiting to know whether or not your baby is going to make it seems like a lifetime. I was grouchy and snappy. I finally clued Burt in so he knew to take it easy on me. Come 7:30pm (5 hours later) I was in the bathroom peeing in a cup. I dipped it and set the kitchen clock. I once again vowed to wait the entire 9 minutes until I looked at it. When I did I knew it was darker. I didn't even have to hold the tests side by side, but when I did I was again consumed with comfort. This baby is here to stay.

On Oct 15th (Thursday) I was 12 dpo. When I woke up my temperature had went back up a bit. I didn't even have the urge to POAS. I was comfortable with my status: PREGNANT.


On Oct 16th (Friday) I was 13dpo. When I woke up Friday my worry got the best of me again and I took out one more FRER. I dipped and sat on the couch again waiting. I was feeling mostly confident but there's always a sense of fear when I know I'm taking it to compare to another one. At the 8 minute mark I looked down at the test. It was dark. But was it darker then 11dpo? I couldn't be sure. My adrenaline started pumping. I decided I'd wait a couple more minutes and check it again, but after waiting the line seemed no darker. I tried to logically reason with myself in my head. HCG doubles every 48 hours. Maybe it just hadn't doubled yet. Maybe the test just didn't have as much dye. It was my baby boy's birthday and I was determined not to ruin it with worry. I just decided to test later in the day after holding it for five hours again. Later in the day came and went and I didn't have the urge to test. I could lie and just say I was confident but I think it was only because I was so busy with everything else that I had little time to think about it.

On Oct 17th (Saturday) I was 14dpo. We had left for the weekend for a mini vacation in Maryland at Andrea's house. This would be good for me. I didn't pack my alarm clock and I left my thermometer at home on the night stand. No more temping. I did however bring my last HPT but never chalked up the courage to pee on a stick in someone else's bathroom. This was the first day I started feeling really fatigued.

On Oct 18th (Sunday) I was 15dpo. I woke up three times throughout the night having to pee. Could this be another symptom? Please keep 'em coming! Later on that night I had a serious bought with nausea. Nothing that a foot long turkey and ham sandwich couldn't fix.

On Oct 19th (Monday) I was 16dpo. I woke up 10 minutes early and was determined to use the last FRER. I had been patient all weekend but I really needed to see that super dark line to feel good. I dipped and waited. A ritual that I've become too accustomed too. I started walking out into the kitchen to set the oven timer and glanced at the test. The test line had shown up before the control line and was already twice as dark. Nothing could've made me happier. I even decided I should go buy a pregnancy journal.

****This will be edited several times to add other important dates.****

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