My worry is starting to get the best of me. I knew this was going to be hard and boy is it! I just keep telling myself I can't get what I want (a baby) unless I go through this. Over and over again. How am I ever going to make it to 7 or 8 weeks without an ultrasound?! I'm so focused on my symptoms everyday. I think I'm extra tired. I think I'm gagging when I'm brushing my teeth everyday. I think I've had some bouts of nausea. I think I've had pregnancy headaches. I want symptoms so badly to prove to me that everything is fine and I hope I'm just not "wanting" them into existence. That sounds so crazy!! I wish I could remember when my symptoms really started to kick in with the girls. I've looked back at my fertility friend chart but don't really see any pattern. I wish I had a little portable ultrasound machine here at home so that I could just peak in whenever I wanted to see what's going on in there. I was considering going to get a blood draw today and then changed my mind. The really awful thought occurred to me that if I ended up having a miscarriage then I'd be stuck paying a bill for the blood draw and what a kick in the a** that would be. I may go on Monday. That would give me something to look forward to then. Until then worry, worry, worry!
Feelings about pregnancy today: As you can see from my post, my lack of symptoms has me living in fear. I want to get excited about this baby but previous experience is holding me back.
Symptoms: Gagging when brushing teeth, tired, yawning lots, cranky, bloated
What am I most looking forward to: Possibly getting HCG blood draw on Monday
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