It's almost like our first date

Today is the day we've been waiting for since Alexa was admitted to the NICU. She's being discharged. I thought I'd be so happy and excited instead I find myself to be so incredibly nervous. Nervous to make the phone call down there to confirm she's being discharged. Nervous to be the only one to take care of her when she gets home. Nervous for her to have one of these bradycardia episodes at home with us all alone. It seems like such a big responsibility now. When she initially came home from the hospital after she was born I was an old pro. I knew how to take care of newborns. Now I feel like she's so fragile. Like anything can hurt her or harm her. I'm almost afraid to change her diaper or her clothes. Maybe that will wear off the more I do it, but for now I feel scarred. In the NICU everytime she moved an alarm sounded. Anytime I changed her diaper the alarms went crazy. Have I been trained to cringe everytime I change her because of those alarms? I just want to enjoy my baby like she was a normal baby. Please God give me the strength and the courage to be the best mommy I can be to my sweet baby girl.