The days seems so long and the nights even longer. Especially when I'm now spending the nights away from my baby girl. As of last update we now hopefully have an answer as to why she's been breathing so funky. Apparently baby Alexa has a UTI. It's hard to believe that an infection could make her breathing go so awray but it can. Since she's been on the antibiotics it seems as if her breathing has gotten better. She's no longer on the nasal canula and they even removed the stickers from her face which held it in place. She has had an u/s of her kidneys done to rule out any abnormalities that could cause her to get a UTI and today she had a voiding cystourethrogram . Not a pleasant test but my baby handled it like a champ they said.
Edited and added on June 26th:
Well today marks the day that I so eagerly anticipated for many months. Today June 26th was my due date. Although the actual due date means nothing to the midwives, it meant lots to me. I couldn't wait for this day to get here. I couldn't wait to be holding my baby in my arms and yet here I sit still feeling empty. Baby girl is still in the hospital. Today marks day five. And as life in the NICU goes, it's one step forward and two steps back. Burt, the kids and I all made a trip to the hospital today. The three of them seemed to be coming down with a cold or something so they stayed out in the waiting room. We got there about 2pm only to get a bit of good and bad news. The good news was that Alexa was still off of the nasal canula and her breathing has been pretty good. They attempted to put in another IV last night but failed to do so because the NICU was rather busy while they were trying to do it and Alexa's veins didn't seem to want to cooperate either. They gave up after a few attempts. In the end it seems that was for the best because they have now switched her to oral antibiotics. She could've even been discharged today had she not had a little episode of lowering her heart rate. The nurse said that at her 1pm feeding today her heart rate fell to about 85 and she turned blue. She said she just switched Alexa's position and that brought her heart rate back up again. I tried to seem strong when she told me but inside I was cracking. How could we be so close and yet so far away from going home? Don't get me wrong...I only want my baby home if she's healthy but PLEASE make her healthy! Walking in this house is torture. I see her swing sitting motionless in the living room. I see her clean empty bottles on the drying rack in the kitchen. I see her cosleeper sitting next to my bed and it brings tears to my eyes remembering the last time she was in it. I can't bring myself to putting her co sleeper in her room and yet it pains me to see it empty everyday. I feel like I've already missed so much of her short life. She has spent more of her life in the hospital then she has spent at home with her family. Everyday I leave the hospital and fantasize about making the drive home with my baby strapped safely in her carseat. Today when I got home I just broke down emotionally. It's been building all day. First earlier when I smelled one of her sleepers. I could smell her and it broke my heart. Then tonight when I walked by her stroller in the living room and remembered our last walk in it around the pool the night before she went into the hospital. I can't help but be pessimistic. Every time I feel optimistic I'm reminded of my bad luck. She's got so many people praying for her. If prayers can make her better, they will. Get well baby Alexa!!
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