Yea, sounds weird, but I've been having some crazy leakage of some sort. Everyone says it's normal so I'm sticking with that to ease my mind but this ultrasound can't come soon enough. I just need to know there is a healthy little baby in there. I need to know there is a heartbeat. The past two days my nausea has subsided a bit and you know that's always a cause for worry for a woman who has been through the losses I have. I just want some reassurance. I want to be able to take a nice deep breathe. I feel like these small shallow breaths are going to suffocate me. STRESS!! I had a crazy dream last night. I keep dreaming that I have or give birth to a baby girl. Last night I had a baby girl but didn't have anything for her. I was going out at 9pm to Babies R Us to buy a car seat and stroller then I was trying to go to the mall to buy her some clothes. Completely out of character actually. Everyone knows that I have enough stuff here to completely sustain a newborn for at least a month. lol The dreams are just so vivid and real. Time seems to be moving so slowly these past few days. I haven't accomplished much around the house due to lack of motivation, but I still manage to at least straighten up. Tomorrow I have jury duty. Woo-hoo!! Not looking forward to that. You know they make it mandatory because if they didn't no one would volunteer to do it. At least I don't have to worry about taking off of work but I do have to arrange for someone to drop off and pick up the kids from school. I just don't like the unknown. In fact, I think that is one of my biggest fears. I don't like spontaneity or surprise either. See, one could learn alot from me by reading all this. Alright well back to the couch for me. It just seems to be calling my name lately. It's quite chilly outside and I'm looking forward to wrapping up in a warm blanket and watching my shows. Ta ta for now!!
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