31 weeks 2 days

It's been a busy weekend. Saturday we went to a BBQ at Shannon's house. The rain decided to hold out for us so everyone was happy. The kids ran around and played getting nice and dirty and nice and tired. The adults just hung out and ate until dark and then we sent the kids inside with a movie and the adults spent some time around the fire. It was nice to be an adult again and not just a mom. Sunday we got new brakes and rotors put on the van and boy did it need them! Then we went to Bobby's house for the twins baptism. However worried I was about being the outcast there it went pretty smoothly. I got to hold my first newborn since being pregnant and now I'm even more excited to meet Alexa. I could feel her kicking Justice (the newborn) as I was holding her. I must say I felt like a bit of a trader holding another baby while mine was kicking away in there. And that brings us to today: Lay Low Monday! I woke up this morning, turned off the alarm clock, and rolled back over. It's rainy and chilly. Just a nice day to sit around inside. I knew I'd have to scrounge something up for the kids to wear to school today. Oh yea and Abby never read her books she was supposed to read. Sooooooo, home from school they stayed. So far it hasn't been too bad. I actually got to sleep until 9:30. Score! But we'll see how the rest of the day goes. On the baby front... On Saturday I had a big baby scare. I hopped in the shower at about noon only to quickly realize that I hadn't felt the baby move since the night before. I pushed on my tummy a bit hoping to get a big swift kick from her to calm me down, but nothing happened. I raced through my shower in semi panic attack mode and quickly got dried off. I told Burt why I was spazing and he told me to hurry up and go lay down and see if I could feel her. I always feel her moving when I lay down. So I did. And I pushed on my tummy some more. I got one kick but then nothing. I was reassured for a minute until Burt yelled in "lay there and wait to feel more". Then I started having very horrible thoughts again. So I layed there waiting for more, but nothing came. I even made Burt bring me a glass of cold water and then I finally got a bit more movement. I was about 2 minutes from making a trip to L&D for monitoring. It was about an hour later when I guzzled down a nice cold glass of Sierra Mist and then I felt lots of movement. Movement all night actually. I couldn't have been more relieved. The closer I get to my due date the more worried I get. I just have this dark cloud feeling telling me that I can still loose her at anytime. maybe that's what I was supposed to learn from the loss of the twins. Was God trying to teach me to enjoy pregnancy and my children because at anytime they can be taken away? Well, I got the point God!!! I'm grateful!! Please don't take my babies! Assuming there will be another pregnancy, I sure hope it's not as stressful as this one.