Okay so I know this post is going to be all over the place as my thoughts are too. First my most prominent thought is of the Heartbreaking Choice Website. I find myself going there more and more lately. In the beginning right after losing the girls I was on the site everyday. I didn't post everyday but I certainly read everyday. It felt good to know I was not alone in my pain. Then in the beginning of this pregnancy I went every so often just to feel not so alone in all of my fears. I worried about miscarriage. I worried about another bad diagnosis. Then I calmed down a bit after the Level 2 scan and stopped going. But more recently I've gone on feeling the urge to visit the actual Heartbreaking Choice posts. In one weird way it makes me realize how far I've come. I'm now 29 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby girl. In another way it puts me back in those days of darkness and fear. And in yet another it makes me feel so vulnerable because anything can happen at any time. But yet I'm drawn back to it often. I do check in on the "Due in 2010" thread too but find myself more attracted to the Debbie Downer threads. Weird huh? Maybe my minds way of making sure I'm appreciating every minute of this pregnancy? I dunno.
In other news, Friday the 9th was my 2nd 3D ultrasound. We left at 3pm after picking the kids up from school early and headed out. We of course ran into major traffic on I95 and it ended up taking one hour and forty five minutes to get there when last time it only took an hour. But in the end we made it. We went in and were the only ones there. We were taken back right away and I had a feeling this appointment was going to be rush rush! I immediately laid down on the table. I was hoping she'd be awake. After all who wouldn't be awake after I ate a bag of hot fries, a half a bottle of wawa iced tea and a pack of chewy sprees. Delicious! The tasty snacks worked and she was awake a wiggling around. At first she had her hands up to her face again. But she wasn't totally nestled into the placenta. Yet! We got a couple of pictures of her with her mouth open, perhaps yawning, and even a good frontal face shot with a smile! But soon enough she turned a bit and was back with her best friend Mr. Placenta. The guy tried again to shake her into a better position but she would not cooperate. Looked like she was getting cozy and ready for a nap. The guy complained a couple of times about the amount of fluid in there. At first he complained that there just wasn't enough and then he complained that it just wasn't up where he needed it to be, by her face. He complained enough to make me worry. I guess that's not hard though. I'm definitely going to bring it up to the midwife on the 19th. We left there with maybe another 8 photos and headed back to Philly. Not entirely worth the almost two hour ride but it was nice to see our pumpkin again.
Finally, my last bit of rambling is about my baby shower on Saturday. My surprise or not so surprise baby shower on Saturday. I'm not sure its been mentioned here yet because I never know who will end up reading this at a later date but we'll just say that the shower was not a surprise, although everyone involved tried really hard for it to be a surprise. It was thrown by Burt, Cindy, Rose, and Linda. And they all worked so very hard. Just goes to show just how loved I am. The shower started at 3pm and was at Linda's house. I was "tricked" into going there for a BBQ Linda said she had planned. As Burt brought in the fruit salad we had made Linda came out to the van to meet with me. We started heading to the house and I spotted Syreeta. Looking like a deer in headlights I just said to her, "What are yooooou doing here?" We both just giggled and I headed in. At that point Linda knew the cat was out of the bag but everyone inside didn't. I walked in and was greeted by a very loud, "Surprise!!!!!" which of course was not a surprise at all. I simply followed that with, "Now maybe we should say surprise for Syreeta too because she's on her way in too." I think everyone got the point and erupted into laughter. It was funny. There were lots of folks there. A full house actually. Tons of food. And a huge cake. I must say again, they worked so hard. Everyone checked out the 3D pics from our ultrasound and we all just chit chatted. Soon Cindy started some games and more laughing followed. The first game was called "I broke my water". She had made ice cubes with little plastic babies frozen inside of them. The point of the game was to suck or chew your baby free and when it was free the first person to shout I broke my water was the winner. She had a bag full of prizes. Amanda won, but I must say her baby was premature because it was only partly frozen in the ice cube. The second game was a game about mommy. I had previously answered a list of questions about myself and everyone had to fill out the questionnaire. The first answer called out was the answer that was used and if the answer was wrong Daddy had to chew a piece of gum. There were definitely some good ones in there. Some that I knew nobody would know. The best one would've had to be what does mommy like best about daddy. I used the polite answer, his thoughtfulness, while lots of people put down that I loved his money. How materialistic!! Me? Materialistic? I don't think so! Lots more prizes were handed out. Then the third game was a Price is Right about baby things. Abby was our product model and she held up the baby things as everyone wrote down how much they thought it was. In the end I ended up with a bag full of baby goodies for Miss Alexa. Then the fourth and final game was to name a baby product for every letter of the alphabet. The papers were then passed around and graded. The person with the most amount correct won. I couldn't tell you who actually won as there was so much commotion at this point, but it was the most fun baby shower I've ever been to. Then it was cake and present time. I opened presents as people ate their cake. Lots of clothes and a few things from my registry. Oh yea, and a couple of IOU's. Cindy is buying the swing. God bless her heart. And Linda said she just never had the time to go buy something but that she will. Soon it was over and the clean up began. Daddy was so good about helping out. He washed dishes and pots and pans until his hands were wrinkly. What a good guy and how loved we are baby Alexa!? Ta Ta for now! My hands are tired and my mind is wandering.
In other news, Friday the 9th was my 2nd 3D ultrasound. We left at 3pm after picking the kids up from school early and headed out. We of course ran into major traffic on I95 and it ended up taking one hour and forty five minutes to get there when last time it only took an hour. But in the end we made it. We went in and were the only ones there. We were taken back right away and I had a feeling this appointment was going to be rush rush! I immediately laid down on the table. I was hoping she'd be awake. After all who wouldn't be awake after I ate a bag of hot fries, a half a bottle of wawa iced tea and a pack of chewy sprees. Delicious! The tasty snacks worked and she was awake a wiggling around. At first she had her hands up to her face again. But she wasn't totally nestled into the placenta. Yet! We got a couple of pictures of her with her mouth open, perhaps yawning, and even a good frontal face shot with a smile! But soon enough she turned a bit and was back with her best friend Mr. Placenta. The guy tried again to shake her into a better position but she would not cooperate. Looked like she was getting cozy and ready for a nap. The guy complained a couple of times about the amount of fluid in there. At first he complained that there just wasn't enough and then he complained that it just wasn't up where he needed it to be, by her face. He complained enough to make me worry. I guess that's not hard though. I'm definitely going to bring it up to the midwife on the 19th. We left there with maybe another 8 photos and headed back to Philly. Not entirely worth the almost two hour ride but it was nice to see our pumpkin again.
Finally, my last bit of rambling is about my baby shower on Saturday. My surprise or not so surprise baby shower on Saturday. I'm not sure its been mentioned here yet because I never know who will end up reading this at a later date but we'll just say that the shower was not a surprise, although everyone involved tried really hard for it to be a surprise. It was thrown by Burt, Cindy, Rose, and Linda. And they all worked so very hard. Just goes to show just how loved I am. The shower started at 3pm and was at Linda's house. I was "tricked" into going there for a BBQ Linda said she had planned. As Burt brought in the fruit salad we had made Linda came out to the van to meet with me. We started heading to the house and I spotted Syreeta. Looking like a deer in headlights I just said to her, "What are yooooou doing here?" We both just giggled and I headed in. At that point Linda knew the cat was out of the bag but everyone inside didn't. I walked in and was greeted by a very loud, "Surprise!!!!!" which of course was not a surprise at all. I simply followed that with, "Now maybe we should say surprise for Syreeta too because she's on her way in too." I think everyone got the point and erupted into laughter. It was funny. There were lots of folks there. A full house actually. Tons of food. And a huge cake. I must say again, they worked so hard. Everyone checked out the 3D pics from our ultrasound and we all just chit chatted. Soon Cindy started some games and more laughing followed. The first game was called "I broke my water". She had made ice cubes with little plastic babies frozen inside of them. The point of the game was to suck or chew your baby free and when it was free the first person to shout I broke my water was the winner. She had a bag full of prizes. Amanda won, but I must say her baby was premature because it was only partly frozen in the ice cube. The second game was a game about mommy. I had previously answered a list of questions about myself and everyone had to fill out the questionnaire. The first answer called out was the answer that was used and if the answer was wrong Daddy had to chew a piece of gum. There were definitely some good ones in there. Some that I knew nobody would know. The best one would've had to be what does mommy like best about daddy. I used the polite answer, his thoughtfulness, while lots of people put down that I loved his money. How materialistic!! Me? Materialistic? I don't think so! Lots more prizes were handed out. Then the third game was a Price is Right about baby things. Abby was our product model and she held up the baby things as everyone wrote down how much they thought it was. In the end I ended up with a bag full of baby goodies for Miss Alexa. Then the fourth and final game was to name a baby product for every letter of the alphabet. The papers were then passed around and graded. The person with the most amount correct won. I couldn't tell you who actually won as there was so much commotion at this point, but it was the most fun baby shower I've ever been to. Then it was cake and present time. I opened presents as people ate their cake. Lots of clothes and a few things from my registry. Oh yea, and a couple of IOU's. Cindy is buying the swing. God bless her heart. And Linda said she just never had the time to go buy something but that she will. Soon it was over and the clean up began. Daddy was so good about helping out. He washed dishes and pots and pans until his hands were wrinkly. What a good guy and how loved we are baby Alexa!? Ta Ta for now! My hands are tired and my mind is wandering.
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