I wish I'd write more

I've said it since first finding out I was pregnant. I don't want to forget a thing about this baby. I wish I could write everyday. I think she's learning something new everyday and I feel like I'll forget it all. I think back to when Abby and Nate were babies and I can't remember at what age they started to do anything. I should go back and read through their baby books I suppose but even that isn't as thorough as I'd like it. Today Alexa tried out her exersaucer for the first time. We got it as a hand me down from Uncle Bobby and it's just the cutest pinkest thing! Alexa seemed to like it. She stared at all the tosy for a bit and proceeded to chew up the seat. She's like a little puppy now. She chews on everything. I think she's going to teethe early. Today she was sucking away on my kuckle. Felt kind weird but she loved it! And she's constantly chewing and sucking on her own hands. Half the time she'd prefer to suck on her hands instead of her binky. Today was a day for a lot of firsts actually. Tonight we tried feeding her baby food for the first time. She's 14 weeks and five days old and she ate applesauce. Quite the piggy she is. She's been wanting a bottle more and more frequently. I'm actually concerned that she's eating way too much formula everyday. I swear she might have eaten like 38 or 40 oz today. After listening to her cry for a bottle only 2 hours after having eaten five ounces I figured I'd give it a whirl. We started out by trying to give her rice cereal for the 2nd time now. She did exactly what she did the first time which is cry and never swollow one drop. That's when I decided we'd try something a little more tastey. Cindy had given me a few odds and ends things from the "guess the price" game we played at my baby shower and applesauce was one of them. Boy did she love it! After charging up the video camera a bit I finally taped her making this "mmmmm" sound after every bite. She was in baby heaven!! She's growing everyday. She's becoming more and more of a baby and less and less of a helpless baby blob. On Saturday she grabbed her bottle as I was feeding her and tried to hold it with her fists closed. On Sunday she held onto it with her hands open and tried to pull it out of her mouth every time she needed a breather. Today she actually supported the weight of the bottle for a few seconds. She'll be holding it any day. I'm always so excited for her to learn something new but in the back of my mind I know that whatever she learns is one less thing she needs me for. Sometimes it makes me sad. One day she'll scream and cry when I try to cuddle her close and hold her bottle to feed her. And I'll think "Man, do I miss those days when all she did was lay there and stare into my eyes as I fed her!" And I'll be sad. Please don't grow up to quickly Alexa. In other off topic news, we got a new pet today. Abby decided that with her b-day money she wanted to buy a hanster. She used her $48 and bought herself a cute little cage, a big bag of bedding, and hanster food. Oh yea, and the hamster. It's a chinese dwarf hamster and it's so stinkin' cute!

3 months--I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad

Today is one day past Alexa's 3 month birthday. Oops! Story of my life, a day late and a dollar short! Oh well! I took her three month pictures today on the recliner. Her gerber 0-3 month onesie is now quite snug! I still remember the one month pictures like it was yesterday. So today I figured I'd take some time to compile a list of facts about our Lexa Lynn.

Here goes it!
~~She looks like a balding old man. No hair on top but plenty in the back.
~~Her eyes are still blue and her hair looks to be a light brown.
~~The toe next to her pinky toe is crooked on both feet.
~~She still doesn't fit into her 0-3 month sandals from Children's Place.
~~She had an explosive poopy event two days ago where I was shot in the stomach with diarrhea.
~~She is in size one Pampers but next case I'll be buying size 2.
~~She has outgrown her o-3 month one piece outfits. She's too long!
~~She wore her first pair of jeans yesterday on her 3 month birthday.
~~Everyone says how adorable she is and asks about her hair bows everyday.
~~Her legs never stop kicking.
~~She holds her arms in fists very close to her body and stretches out her legs when she's trying to poop.
~~She now enjoys her mobile and will watch it until it goes into sleep mode at which time she starts crying.
~~Still loves to be swaddled
~~She wakes up every night around 3 or 4 am.
~~She has long "conversations" with me. We go back and forth "talking" to each other as she stares into my eyes.
~~She loves morning time and is most happy then.
~~She likes for me to sing The Wheels on the Bus and move her legs, arms, and feet around.
~~She will be getting her ears pierced tomorrow.
~~She's still drinking Nutramigen.
~~She's eating every three hours now so I must bump up her ounces.
~~She loves bathtime and has begun splashing away.
~~She loves to cuddle. When I'm holding her at night on her back she will curl her body up so that her face is nestled into my shirt.
~~She will stop crying immediately in the car if Abby knocks on her car seat. Weird! I know!

September 11th, 2010

So today I woke up and completely forgot it was 9/11. I didn't remember until I signed onto facebook and saw all the tributes to it. Ever since then I've had a bit of a melancholy feeling. I can't help but to think back to that September day. I remember it like it was yesterday. My life was so different then. No kids, still living at home, working at the sev. It's weird. Every year I've tried to teach the kids the importance of that day. At such a young age it's been hard but every year they seem to grasp the concept a little better. It's so important to teach them and let them remember every year for as long as we remember we can help to protect ourselves. I showed them a tribute that someone posted on facebook and then we spent some time watching news footage on you tube of that morning. We watched the 2nd plane crash into the south tower. I showed them pictures of men and women jumping from the towers. I showed them the wreckage left in the Pennsylvania crash and told them about the heroes that thwarted that plane's course. I told them about the Pentagon. This year they were truley interested. It made me feel good as a mom to know that I'm passing on that piece of history that I lived through. And for the rest of the day I will remember. I took some time to post a thank you message to my friend Daniela's husband Keith who fought in the war and who now suffers badly from post traumatic stress disorder. If everyone remembers they'll never win.

A Day in the Life of Alexa @ 11 weeks

1

We've made it! We've crossed the finish line.

Time seems to be just flying by now that Alexa is getting better. Her cough is improving by the day. For awhile there it seemed to be getting worse and now I wonder if she didn't have a bit of a cold again to top it off. But now the mucousy cough is disappearing again and the coughing fits are very quick and for the most part relatively painless both physically for her and mentally for me. I'm kind of used to it by now. Most others are still scared to death everytime she coughs. Nana passed her right back to me the other day when she was holding Alexa and she started coughing. If she thought that was bad she would've never made it through the early stages of this pertusis. I haven't taken any anxiety meds in awhile. I feel very comfortable with her progress. On the 26th of August she had her "2 month" checkup. I say that in quotes because she was really 10 weeks. We had Dr. Ruben who isn't really my favorite doctor at the practice. She's quite short with her answers and always makes me feel rushed. I'm glad I went in armed with a list of written questions or she just might have rushed me out of there without being able to ask one. Alexa was weighed and came in at a whopping 10lbs 14oz. And she's now 22.5 inches long. By far the shortest of all my babies at this age I believe. Her teeny tiny head came in at 30th percentile and her weight and height came in somewhere around 40th percentile. Right on track my little peanut is. She was holding her head up well and very observant. The doctor was very pleased. I walked out of there one proud mommy. I feel so accomplished somedays having gone through everything that I have with her. I feel like we've been through so much together already and I've made it. I'm a survivor even though there were days when I thought I'd just throw up because of how anxious I was. I could've lost my baby, and some women have lost theirs to this sickness, but we beat it!! Everytime she coughs I'm awake. Everytime she coughs I am by her side. I struggled through just about forcing her to eat even though some days she'd only eat 11oz. I charted how much she ate everyday. I took countless trips to the doctors just to be sure she wasn't getting dehydrated. I watched her like hawk. And now it's all paying off. I have my baby alive and well. She's smiling, cooing, kicking, and playing. I'm finally getting to enjoy her the way I've been dying to.

Abby and Nathan start back to school on Wednesday. I'm excited to be home all alone with the baby and begin getting on some sort of routine. It's almost like closing a chapter in her book of life. She came home from the hospital on the kids' last day of school and now here we are starting the school year again. I'm looking forward to some Mommy and baby time. It's going to feel so weird just having one child to look after all day. I do have to say though that I will miss their help. All summer long they've been great go getters. And now Abby can even lift the baby and walk around holding her a bit. It's a great help when your arms hurt so badly from holding her for so long. I'm going to miss them but they need to get their brains a-workin'!

Dare I say?! She's becoming normal.

I have to make this quick. You just never know when she'll start crying. Right now she's relaxing peacefully in her glider right next to me at the computer. Every once and awhile I glance over and she'll be cat napping and then five minutes later I'll glance over again and there she'll be looking all beaty eyed at me. She's so adorable. Now I know I'm partial but man do we make cute kids! She does the funniest thing with her eyes. She'll be looking around and close her eyes for a long couple of seconds and then open then looking up or to the side. Looking very flirty if you ask me. She's smiling more now which is nice for me. Finally some recognition for all of my hard work! She's still coughing. Boo! But it's getting much better. I'm actually allowing her to cough by herself in the swing while I continue to sit on the cough just monitoring her. I used to jump up and run to her with every cough. I even have the kids trained to yell for me when she starts. I'll be in the kitchen washing dishes and Nathan will yell "Mom, babies coughing!!!" and a running I would come. I'm becoming a bit more laid back now that he coughing spells aren't lasting as long and aren't as mucousy. I've even brought her upstairs in the heat to just hang out. Before I would have to run the AC until the room was cool before I'd even think about bringing her up. She seems to be tolerating it quite well. We're even going to venture out to the pool tonight for a late night swim. All things that normal 2 month old babies could do. In other news, she seems to be chunking up again. Today she had a weight check and she went from 9lbs 13 oz to 10lbs 6 oz. Big bay-bay! I'm excited to have a "normal" baby for once. Normal all except this dang diaper rash that I've been fighting for two weeks now. It's so raw and sore and I feel so badly for her. I told her doctor today that I just want a normal baby, one whom I can use wipes on. The rash has gotten so bad that I've been using a bulb syringe to squirt water on her bottom every time I change her. Well, I just got the call. Daddy is on his way home. I'm going to go pop the chicken in the oven for dinner so it can be done in time for us to go to the pool.

Small pity party

Had a bit of a breakdown today. One xanax later, I'm feeling better. Alexa had a pretty rought night last night. She was up lots coughing and worrying mommy sick! I'm working on a theory that maybe the room was too hot and we're gonna turn on the AC earlier tonight to cool it down before we come in. Everytime I think she's getting better, I'm reminded that she's still one sick little girl. Tonight we're gonna give her a bath and relax her a bit. We're even going to buy a cool mist humidifier and see if that helps any.

Yesterday was my 8 week postpartum check up. I got to see Becca, my favorite midwife of all. All together now I have lost 35 pounds, and I confirmed that my total weight gain for the pregnancy was 11 pounds. Not bad! We chatted about all the drama that has been titled "My life" and she thinks I should play the lottery. Who has such luck?! It felt good to talk about everything that's been going on and to get some sympathy for it. It's been a rough 7 weeks. I had my pap smear and now we await the results. Please God, no more curve balls. Let it be normal. My mom and nana watched all three kids while I was gone. I was a nervous wreck about the baby the whole time but I have to admit it felt good to get away even if it was for a who-ha check. When I got back to my grandma's house, my Aunt Debbie and Kayla had joined the click. She always makes me feel calmer. I don't know why. Maybe it's because she's a nurse but again it felt good to relax a bit. She even decided to take the kids down to her house for awhile to give them something new to do. Burt and I took advantage of the time together and went to get Chinese food and took a quick walk through the Family Dollar in Folcroft.

In other news, today I captured Alexa's smile on camera. She's been smiling since July 31st but I had yet to have the camera ready when she did it. She seems to be the happiest in the morning. I was holding her and Abby was just smiling at her and she smiled right back. Several times in fact. Nathan grabbed the camera and snapped away. I have to keep reminding myself that she won't be sick forever. This will get better and then these horrible times will all just be a memory. The sad thing is though that I don't want to look back on her first few months and think of how horrible they were. I want to remember her and cherish her when she's still so small. I feel like I'm being robbed. Oh well, enough with the pity party. I am grateful to just have her here. I will take what i can get.