Had a bit of a breakdown today. One xanax later, I'm feeling better. Alexa had a pretty rought night last night. She was up lots coughing and worrying mommy sick! I'm working on a theory that maybe the room was too hot and we're gonna turn on the AC earlier tonight to cool it down before we come in. Everytime I think she's getting better, I'm reminded that she's still one sick little girl. Tonight we're gonna give her a bath and relax her a bit. We're even going to buy a cool mist humidifier and see if that helps any.
Yesterday was my 8 week postpartum check up. I got to see Becca, my favorite midwife of all. All together now I have lost 35 pounds, and I confirmed that my total weight gain for the pregnancy was 11 pounds. Not bad! We chatted about all the drama that has been titled "My life" and she thinks I should play the lottery. Who has such luck?! It felt good to talk about everything that's been going on and to get some sympathy for it. It's been a rough 7 weeks. I had my pap smear and now we await the results. Please God, no more curve balls. Let it be normal. My mom and nana watched all three kids while I was gone. I was a nervous wreck about the baby the whole time but I have to admit it felt good to get away even if it was for a who-ha check. When I got back to my grandma's house, my Aunt Debbie and Kayla had joined the click. She always makes me feel calmer. I don't know why. Maybe it's because she's a nurse but again it felt good to relax a bit. She even decided to take the kids down to her house for awhile to give them something new to do. Burt and I took advantage of the time together and went to get Chinese food and took a quick walk through the Family Dollar in Folcroft.
In other news, today I captured Alexa's smile on camera. She's been smiling since July 31st but I had yet to have the camera ready when she did it. She seems to be the happiest in the morning. I was holding her and Abby was just smiling at her and she smiled right back. Several times in fact. Nathan grabbed the camera and snapped away. I have to keep reminding myself that she won't be sick forever. This will get better and then these horrible times will all just be a memory. The sad thing is though that I don't want to look back on her first few months and think of how horrible they were. I want to remember her and cherish her when she's still so small. I feel like I'm being robbed. Oh well, enough with the pity party. I am grateful to just have her here. I will take what i can get.
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