How nostalgic!

Yesterday, October 9th, we went to Linvilla Orchards. Last year on October 11th we went there to go apple picking. As we were apple picking I was praying that there was a little baby growing inside of me. I remember looking at every woman with a baby and being so overwhelmed with jealousy. I wished I still had my girls growing inside of me. And I wished I'd have another chance at being pregnant. The future was so uncertain. That night I came home and at 8 dpo I took a dollar store pregnancy test. I took it in the bathroom and kept getting up from the couch to check on it. I hid it in my drawer of my bedroom dresser. Burt must've thought I was crazy or something getting up every minute or so. And finally after about 15 minutes (well past the ten minute wait time) I saw a very very very faint line. If I twisted it and held it at just the right angle, something was there. I had a glimmer of excitement. I don't know how I went to sleep that night, but somehow I did. The next morning was Monday and the kids had off of school for Colombus Day. I hurried up and we headed out to Walmart to buy more pregnancy tests. Low and behold when I tested I saw another faint line, but this one was definitely there. I was so scared and happy. The emotions were crazy! And today when I reflect back on that day the only thing I wish to be different was I wish I knew the outcome. I wish I knew that everything was going to be okay. I wish I could've been less worried. But I'd go through it all over again. Every ounce of worry was worth it to be holding my almost 4 month old baby girl, walking around with her wearing the very first thing I bought when I knew I was pregnant, and listening to the 30 or so people stop us just to take a look at her or to tell me how adorable she was. Yesterday will go do in the books as one of the most fulfilling days of my life as a mommy. I felt like my life had come full circle in many ways. Only God knew that one year from then I would have my miracle. Which I guess is my lesson of the day. Trust in God. He knows what's best. The day was beautiful. It was sunny and warm and yet there was a crisp breeze that reminded us that it was fall. Abby and Nathan got their faces painted. They played in the park. We fed the animals. They made their way through the haybale maze. And we even took a hayride to the witches house and finished off the day with apple cider and roasted marshmellows. And at the end of the day I tucked my three adorable kids into bed and passed out!