Coughing coughing coughing

Ack! I'm so tired of hearing my baby coughing. Will she ever breathe without coughing?! I think she has another cold. It seems this time she has a runny nose too. We started her back on soy formula. So far so good. She seems a bit cranky but I'm wondering how much of that is from the cold and how much is from the formula switch. Tonight my mom stopped over for a visit. As soon as my mom crouched down and tried to talk to her in her exersaucer Alexa started bawling. One day she'll love mom mom, but for now, not so much! She's just a mommy and daddy's girl. Oh wait and an Abby and Nathan's girl. She'll go to any of us but no one else. Silly baby!

Baby's 1st pumpkin carving

Tonight we carved pumpkins. It was Alexa's first time. She didn't seem overly thrilled about it. I set her up in her carseat and she hung out and humored me for a few pictures. Abby and Nate went to town cleaning out their pumpkins which always turns into a gooey but fun mess! Daddy started cutting Alexa's pumpkin which is a pumpkin with two leg holes carved and a hat carved from the pumpkin stem. We sat her inside and her two little leggies poked out. She looked adorable. Had she not been exhausted she may have even given us a few smiles.

She rolled over!

I have to admit I've been a bit of a worry wart when it comes to what Alexa should and shouldn't be able to do by four months. I worried when she wasn't smiling at 6 weeks and then she smiled the day she was admitted to CHOP with pertusis. I worried she wasn't reaching for toys and then she reached. Well up until a few days ago i worried that she wasn't rolling over. I was playing with her on the floor and rolling her back and forth for quite a few days trying to "teach" her to roll over. She could get herself onto her side but wasn't even interested in trying to roll. Then on Friday the 15th we were over my mom's house. Alexa was laying on the floor on a big Flyers blanket. I saw her roll to her side so I kept watching. And then she arched her back and head. It was then that I realized she was going to do it. My big girl! I called for my mom to come quickly if she wanted to see Alexa roll for the first time. And ta-dah! She did it! She struggled for a minute to get her arm out from underneath her to support her chest as she laid on her tummy. But then she was happy as could be. I rolled her back over onto her back and she did it again. I think I worry so much because on my board there are always posts about which baby is doing what and I compare. I know I shouldn't but it's hard not to. Alexa was born in the middle of the month and so there are babies that are at least 2 weeks older then her on there. How do you compare a 4 month old to a 4.5 or 5 month old. You can't. They learn so much everyday that in two weeks she could be sitting up. Who knows! So lessen learned. No more comparing.

The birth story--before I forget!

Okay so she'll be four months old tomorrow and I'm just now getting around to her birth story. I'm sure I've forgotten quite a few of the details by now but in another four months I'll remember virtually nothing so here goes:

On June 14th around 11:00pm I started feeling a sharp pain right in the middle of my chest. U had just gotten done eating some sour cream and onion ritz chips so I thought maybe I had a mild case of heartburn. I had had what I thought was heartburn a few times during that pregnancy so what I was feeling was pretty similar. I laid on the couch and Burt laid on the floor. We were watching our regular Monday night TV shows. around midnight I was ready for bed so I headed upstairs. I checked the medicine cabinet for some Tums but found none. After laying in bed for about a half hour I decided I could no longer stand the pain so I got up and starting getting ready to go to Walgreens. I remember that Burt and I were not getting alone for some reason. Probably something stupid but I remember not wanting him to go to Walgreens for me and I headed out the door. The whole while my chest was really hurting but I didn't think it was anything other then heartburn. When I got home I took the recommended dose of Tums. And then ten minutes later I took another two or three. The Tums were doing nothing for my pain. Eventually I think I passed out just from being so tired. It wasn't long before I awoke again and was in even worse pain. By this time Burt was up in bed with me and he woke up to find me on my way downstairs. He followed me down and he knew something was wrong. He kept insisting that I call the midwives and ask them what I should do. I on the other hand could only think about how inconvenient for everyone that that would be. I knew we'd have to call Juan and Amanda over to stay with the kids. I knew that they would have to get them up and ready for school the next morning, and all for what? For me to sit in L&D only to be told I had bad heartburn and to be sent home with another pack of Tums?! No thank you! I just kept on insisting I was fine. I really didn't think it was anything serious. The pain subsided enough for me to make my way back up to bed and to fall asleep. I woke up to the sound of the alarm at seven something on the 15th. It was Tuesday the day of Nathan's Kindergarten Celebration. His entire school had been preparing for this and he was super excited. I was so proud of my big boy. I wobbled out of bed and into the bathroom. The pain was so bad that I was sick to my stomach. I finally just threw up and hoped I would feel better soon. I went about our normal morning routine. Breakfast, getting them dressed, brushing teeth. And we headed out the door. I dropped Nathan off to the bus and headed to Abby's school to wait for her door to open. While we waited I sat in pain. I finally decided I had had enough and called the midwife on call. I can't remember who called me back or who was handling my case all day but I want to say it was Lyndsay. After I described the pain by telling her I was having chest pain that sometimes radiated around to my shoulder blade and pain every time in inhaled and exhaled she insisted that I come up to the hospital to be checked out. I was taken back for a minute because I knew I needed to be there for Nathan today. I asked her if it would be possible to wait until 11:30am or so for Nathan's celebration to be over. She told me that she didn't feel comfortable with me waiting that long and that she wanted me to be seen as soon as possible. I cried as she told me this. It broke my heart to think I was missing such a big thing. I remember thinking to myself that this was the first thing I was missing for one of the kids as a result of having a third child. I was sad. I tried to explain to Abby why I was crying. I didn't want her worried about me all day long at school. She kissed me good-bye and like a big girl walked up to the door by herself. I called Burt to tell him what was going on. He had already left for work and I headed home. We planned for him to leave work early so he could go to see Nathan and I would head to the hospital. I left my house for the last time pregnant with Alexa. Once I got to the hospital I headed for the elevators. I was talking to Burt at the time and mentioned to him that I didn't really know where I was going. A woman on the elevator with me took one look at my belly and assumed I wanted to go to the 4th floor for labor and delivery. She happened to be a nurse on that floor and I followed her there. Once there they put me into a room to be monitored. The baby was doing great. My blood pressure on the other hand was a bit high. Nothing too alarming but high. The midwife ordered some blood work and I stayed on the monitors for awhile. The l.plan of action was then to send me down to the ER to have me checked for asthma. They thought the painful breathing might have been asthma. Another nurse walked with me to the ER. I sat and waited. As I was waiting I had Burt drop Nathan off with me because he had to go back to work. I still didn't think this was anything major and was just following doctor's orders. Nathan came and we hung out. He thought it was pretty neat. I made plans for my mom to come pick him up just in case they were going to keep me for further monitoring. By time she got there I was already in a room and on a bed. Nathan was showing me his papers from school and telling me about his day. Once my mom and Amanda came they entertained Nathan a bit and even took him to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Meanwhile they did an EKG of my heart to rule out any problems there. They brought me for a chest x-ray to rule out anything there. Then another doctor came in to explain what their last idea was. They thought it was possible that I might have developed a blood clot in my lungs. They needed to do some more testing. I was sent upstairs for some crazy test that needed me to be injected with some crazy dye. I remember laying inside of this big MRI type of machine feeling so uncomfortable. They had me laying on my back which made it virtually impossible to breathe. It seems endless. By time I came back from this test I was met by the midwife in my ER room. She starts by saying "God, you're hard to track down!". And proceeds to tell me that she needed to come talk to me in person. The blood work they had sent to the lab came back positive for HELLP syndrome. My understanding is that my liver was failing in some way and my platelet count was dropping quickly. Coupled with my high blood pressure they needed me to deliver and I was now considered high risk. I thought it was sweet that she felt she needed to tell me in person that they would have to transfer my care to the obgyn's. I was half excited to hear that they'd be inducing me but scared to death. Before she left I asked her to check to see how dilated I was. She did and said I was about 1cm dilated. I was satisfied with that as I thought as I was laying there in the ER I was feeling some contractions. A nurse came and wheeled me back up to L&D. By this time I had a hospital bracelet on from L&D and then and ER hospital bracelet too. All the nurses kept laughing and questioning all of my bracelets. Once back in my room I was again hooked up to the monitors and an IV was started. They had to give me magnesium to help regulate my blood pressure. The magnesium required them to measure my fluid intake and output. I had to have a catheter inserted. I had never had a catheter before. I was scared of the pain but overall it wasn't that bad. Just made me feel like I had to pee and then I peed. Weird! Soon Burt arrived and I had arranged for my mom to get Abby from school and to bring them to Amanda's. She was the designated baby-sitter for the birth. By this time I was definitely feeling regular contractions. Dr. Pearson came in and administered the cervidil. I tried to explain to her my past experience with cervidil and I let her know I'd be delivering sooner rather then later. All the nurses still insisted it would be quite some time. I knew better. The cervidil began to do it's job and by 7pm I was feeling some painful contractions. The nurse came in and asked me if I wanted pain meds through my IV. I'm no rookie and I took the meds when they were offered. What she gave me made me really sleepy. I slept in between contractions and was only slightly awake during the contractions. I remember talking to Burt about where he should order his food and then the next thing I remember was him sitting in the chair eating something. Whatever it was helped the time pass and kept the pain at bay. By 10:30 or so I knew I'd be needing the epidural soon. The contractions were very painful by that time but not completely unbearable. I knew by time the anesthesiologist got there that I'd really be dying for it. I insisted that the doctor check me. I was 3cm. She humored me and had the anesthesiologist called. By 11pm I would say he was there and preparing me. I had to sit up in the bed, Burt sitting int he chair in front of me. A nurse stood in front of my and instructed me on how to hunch my back over. Before I knew it I was feeling the cold cleaner on my back and a quick poke. Before I knew it it was over and I felt emotionally relieved. I knew I'd be okay. Pre-epidural I was so worried that I'd go too fast and not have enough time for the epidural. Post-epidural I could relax. I felt one or two more painful contractions and then my legs went numb. Crazy sensation but I didn't care. The pain was gone. I could smile. I could talk. I could laugh. I got the shakes for a bit and then dozed off. Burt must've been exhausted too because he passed out in the chair snoring and all. The nurses came in to check on my every so often and to shut the IV dispenser machine up! The stupid thing beeped every time I moved my arm the wrong way. Several times a woman came in to draw my blood. By 3:30am I was feeling some pressure. I knew the time was getting close but I also knew that since I wasn't in pain that I should let my body do most of the pushing. When I really knew it was time I told one of the nurses that I should be checked. I woke Burt up. We did a couple of practice pushed and then Dr. Pearson came in the room. She suited up. Lots of this is blurry now but I remember having a very hard time holding my breath to a count of ten. Remember the reason I came to the hospital earlier was because it was painful to breathe in and out. I compare the shortness of breath during delivery to someone that's been in the pool swimming all day. They have gotten water in their nose and choked on water a couple of times that day. It hurts to take a deep breath. That was me. It wasn't long before they said they could see her head. I gave it my all and pushed a few more times. All I remember was Dr. Pearson saying "Hi there buddy!" And I stopped dead in my tracks. I said, "It's a girl right?" and she said "Yes". I said "For a minute there I was scared because you called her buddy." She said "I call them all buddy." Alexa was taken to the warmer right away and given apgar scores of 8 & 9 I believe. I sent Burt over and instructed him to take a million pictures. I just admired her from the bed. There was one nurse there cleaning her all up. Dr. Pearson continued working down below. Apparently I was bleeding a lot and she was having a hard time controlling it at first. But no fear! She took good care of me and soon she was leaving the room. Nothing like the care I got from the midwives but definitely my best birth experience ever! I heart the epidural. The nurse soon had Alexa all bundled up and brought her to me. I couldn't get over her dark beaty eyes. She was wide awake. I sniffed her new baby smell. I was very tired. Because of the magnesium I was on I was told I wasn't allowed to be with the baby in the room by myself. Magnesium can make you very sleep and they worry about someone dropping the baby. I felt weird. I felt like a little kid being watched when they were holding a baby. Either way I had to follow the rules. Burt was itching to go smoke a cigarette and as much as I didn't want to give her up I had to let him take her to the nursery so he could leave to go smoke. Before he went he followed her into the nursery and watched them weigh her. He brought me back a card with her measurements on it. My baby girl was 6lbs 15oz and 19.5 inches long. Born at 4:17am. She was here and she was healthy. I soon passed out.

Keep the updating ball rolling

Nothing new or exciting has happened since I last wrote. I'm realizing though that some time down the line these "boring. everyday, blah" posts will be the ones that spark the happy feelings that I have everyday. I've been taking some of my free time to read other mommy blogs. Particularly other mommies from my june jitterbugs board. I love reading about what their JB is doing and checking out all their latest pictures. And sometimes I even take a few spare minutes and flip back a few pages in my blog to reminisce about the things of the past.

Today I had Alexa's 4 month pictures taken. I say that as if I've had 1 month, 2 month, or even 3 month photos taken, which is definitely not the case. I feel sort of terrible about having only had them taken at six weeks. And I feel even more terrible that they're still sitting in the JcPenny's envelope that they came in. I digress. The pictures were scheduled for 11:20am. I went out shopping all day yesterday looking for the perfect outfits. I even bought her first pair of shoes from Babies R Us. I spent at least two hours making bows to match her outfits and sewing fuchsia bows onto her Halloween costume. All of this done in vain. When I got to the portrait studio I had to wait for the woman in from of me to finish up her session. When her session finally ended the photographer came up to me trying to get some info about the kind of pictures I wanted taken. I told her I was trying to keep up with her milestone photos but was a month behind and that i also wanted to do some Halloween photos. I started to tell her I had a couple of outfits to change her into. Sh smirked and said she was only allowed three changes. Whatever! Alexa had other plans anyways as she only let me have enough happy time to take pictures in the one outfit and then she attempted to let us take pictures of her in her bear costume drinking her bottle. Boooo Alexa! What she did allow me to do plenty of times was change her poopy diaper. We all laughed at her as she'd squeeze her little arms tightly against her body and pull her legs together as she pushed. I changed her after I thought she was done the first time. But again she had other plans. Another interruption for another poopy diaper. I finally left there with one amazing close up shot and a few other really good ones. Not what I'd call a success but she.'s so stinkin adorable that I couldn't possibly call it a failure!

How nostalgic!

Yesterday, October 9th, we went to Linvilla Orchards. Last year on October 11th we went there to go apple picking. As we were apple picking I was praying that there was a little baby growing inside of me. I remember looking at every woman with a baby and being so overwhelmed with jealousy. I wished I still had my girls growing inside of me. And I wished I'd have another chance at being pregnant. The future was so uncertain. That night I came home and at 8 dpo I took a dollar store pregnancy test. I took it in the bathroom and kept getting up from the couch to check on it. I hid it in my drawer of my bedroom dresser. Burt must've thought I was crazy or something getting up every minute or so. And finally after about 15 minutes (well past the ten minute wait time) I saw a very very very faint line. If I twisted it and held it at just the right angle, something was there. I had a glimmer of excitement. I don't know how I went to sleep that night, but somehow I did. The next morning was Monday and the kids had off of school for Colombus Day. I hurried up and we headed out to Walmart to buy more pregnancy tests. Low and behold when I tested I saw another faint line, but this one was definitely there. I was so scared and happy. The emotions were crazy! And today when I reflect back on that day the only thing I wish to be different was I wish I knew the outcome. I wish I knew that everything was going to be okay. I wish I could've been less worried. But I'd go through it all over again. Every ounce of worry was worth it to be holding my almost 4 month old baby girl, walking around with her wearing the very first thing I bought when I knew I was pregnant, and listening to the 30 or so people stop us just to take a look at her or to tell me how adorable she was. Yesterday will go do in the books as one of the most fulfilling days of my life as a mommy. I felt like my life had come full circle in many ways. Only God knew that one year from then I would have my miracle. Which I guess is my lesson of the day. Trust in God. He knows what's best. The day was beautiful. It was sunny and warm and yet there was a crisp breeze that reminded us that it was fall. Abby and Nathan got their faces painted. They played in the park. We fed the animals. They made their way through the haybale maze. And we even took a hayride to the witches house and finished off the day with apple cider and roasted marshmellows. And at the end of the day I tucked my three adorable kids into bed and passed out!

15 weeks already!

I really don't feel like posting here right now but I figured a quick check in would be good. As I type Alexa is asleep in her crib. I'm starting to focus on getting her into a good bed time routine. I read in a baby magazine yesterday that by 4 months babies need to start on some sort of routine because the way they go to sleep now will be the way they need to go to sleep every night. I cringe at the thought of having to rock her to sleep every night for the next year because I grew her acustom to falling asleep in the swing. She went through a bit of a fussy period tonight and then I finally got her calm and almost asleep. I decided that would be a good time to lay her in the crib to drift off to sleep on her own. Oh yea and she's NOT swaddled. First time actually. I think I may leave her unswaddled tonight and see how it goes. She's still not sleeping through the night which is quite frustrating sometimes, but all I have to do to get her to fall back asleep is to give her a bottle. It could be worse. Tonight I tried feeding her carrots for the first time. She had four days in a row of applesauce and now we're moving on to a veggie! She seemed to like it, but it was a little hard to tell because she was just overall cranky at the time. I only got a few bites in before she called it quits with a crying fest. Tomorrow will be night two and we'll see if she gives off happier vibes. Today Alexa got lots of compliments at Abby and Nate's school. Who am I kidding? She gets lots of compliments everywhere she goes. But today she looked especially cute and everyone noticed. She wore her orange and black batty for Daddy onesie and a pair of black flare pants. She also wore an orange headband with the batty for daddy bow I made for her. A-d-o-r-a-b-l-e! I need to schedule a photo shoot at JcPenny's really soon. I feel like she's growing so fast that I just can't keep up with it. She seems to be stirring now in her crib. I wonder if she's getting hungry. She seems to be trying to eat like every 2-3 hours. And eating 6 ozs at that! The little piglet! Today I actually gave her 3 ozs of water just to hold her over. She's insatiable! Another thing to talk to the doctor about. I'm excited to see her in the morning. She's always so pleasant. As for the older two. I'm excited to have a good weekend with them. It's supposed to be beautiful this weekend. Sunny and cool, just how I like it. I'd love to take a trip to Linvilla Orchards. We'll see if money will allow. We have lots of fall traditions at Linvilla Orchards. One of the things that I really hope to pass onto my children is a sense of how important family traditions are. I've worked really hard at making some wonderful traditions for our family. Some of my favorites are trips to Linvilla Orchards, decorating the kitchen/dining room the night before their birthday so they can wake up to the room being decorated, a trip to Rita's Water ice on the first day of school, Sprinkling reindeer food and glitter on the lawn for Santa's reindeer on X-mas Eve and many more. I'd love to be eighty years old watching my great grandchildren following these same traditions. Could I be so lucky? I love being a mom.