Am I sad to see it go?

14 weeks 5 days

Today's the last day of 2009. After a bit of soul searching I was trying to figure out if I was sad to see it go. After all it is the only year I got to spend with the girls but it was also a year of much heartache and pain. But even if I'm not at a place in my healing that I can say it was the best year of my life, I hope to one day be there at that place. However, I am now pregnant and that has proven to be one of the best things that has happened this year. And as far as we know and hope this pumpkin is nice and healthy. I'm finally beginning to look forward to actually having a baby in my arms in June or July. This might actually happen. Today I am 14 weeks and 5 days. From everything I'm reading the baby is about 4 inches and 2 ounces. I'm daydreaming almost all day about the day of my ultrasound. I imagine my reaction both ways, boy and girl. And either way I'm excited. I'm excited and ready to hear some good news. I'm antsy to go shopping for some boy or girl clothes. This is going to be one fantastic birthday! It seems like so far away but yet at least in reaching distance. I can see the light at the end of the waiting tunnel. I'm also getting pretty excited to really feel the baby move. Yesterday (Dec 30th) I thought I might have felt some flutters when I was sitting on the couch. Flutters are so hard to describe but only to say it felt a bit like breaking gas bubbles. Eww! I know. But I'm really hoping it was baby. Now I only have to wait for that one "Yep, that was definitely baby" movement. For now it's still a guess. Keep growing strong in there pumpkin. Mommy and Daddy are getting excited to see you again. We love you!!