Pudgy wudgy was a bear

Baby chubb!!

I have to admit...I've never been a fan of chubby babies. When Jackson popped out at 10lbs 3 oz I was a little sad that I wouldn't see him in his newborn clothes for long. I knew he might be my last baby so I wanted to treasure the itty bitty-ness of him. Now that he's a whopping 13 plus pounds I've grown to love his chub and rolls. His little wrists have rolls. His back is pudgy and squeezable. I love it! Tonight I purposely left him in only a diaper just so I could cuddle and squeeze him in all of his naked glory. I love my fat boy!

Scary flashbacks!

A long 24 hours! It started on Tuesday (4/3). Burt was home cooking dinner and I was sitting on the couch with Jackson asleep on my chest. All of a sudden I felt him wiggle around and then gasp for air. I thought it was a bit weird but he seemed to be sleeping comfortably again. I then laid him in his swing and started to walk away when I heard that same gasping again. For a split second my heart dropped but then I had a light bulb moment. Maybe his nose needed to be suctioned. Alexa had a clear runny nose the past two mornings so maybe she shared some of her boogie germs. As I suctioned his nose he screamed and cried. By time I was done he was completely worked up and the gasping started again but much worse. Every breath was a gasp. This went on for a full minute. Another light bulb moment and I burped him. That seemed to calm him down a bit but the gasping continued only interrupted by repeated swallowing of air. I knew we couldn't let him continue on like this but I wasn't sure if it was serious enough to call an ambulance or to quickly drive to the hospital. If we drove to the hospital I knew Burt would have to come with me to keep an eye on him in the backseat. We quickly piled all the kids in the car and drove in. As soon as we got to the hospital they triaged him. His temperature was perfect. Great blood pressure and breath sounds. He seemed to have recovered his regular breathing pattern, but not knowing why it happened I knew he needed to be seen. They hooked him up to the monitors and watched him for awhile. His heart rate, respirations and O2 sats looked great for awhile. Then luckily when one of the doctors was in the room he had another gasping episode. Not nearly as bad as the one at home but bad enough to drop his sats to 89. At that point the decision was made to transport him to CHOP for observation. Burt brought the other 3 kids home to put them to bed. The ambulance came pretty quickly and after a crazy fast reckless ride there we were brought into the ER. After the usual checks they noticed his heart rate having PVC's on the monitor. They immediately did an EKG which confirmed this. As it was described to me, PVC's are when the heart's electrical system sends out a shock to tell the ventricles to contract before they're supposed to. Sometimes this is caused by low electrolyte levels. They then tried for 30 minutes to put in an IV to draw blood. My poor baby screamed and screamed. There's nothing worse then helplessly sitting next to your newborn while they scream out in pain. You can't pick them up and there's nothing you can do to soothe them. I tried the binky dipped in sugar water, shushing him, holding his arms close to his body, and rubbing his face with my finger. Finally when I was seconds away from making them stop the nurse got the IV in his left hand. Jackson calmed down shortly after I picked him up. His face was bright red and soaked in tears. I was completely heartbroken. How was it possible that I was here again with a sick 6 week old baby? Flashbacks of our many trips there with Alexa flooded my memory. I prayed that this was nothing serious as I sat alone, hungry, tired, and emotionally drained in the ER room until 5:30am. It was around that time that they admitted him to the Seashore house, room 410. When we walked into the room I was shocked to see we were sharing a room. Great! More germs! After another round of "What happened's?" we were left to get a little sleep. I knew I had to be up around 7:30 for rounds. I didn't sleep but maybe 10 minutes at a time. Every time I woke up and checked the clock it had only been 10 minutes but it felt like hours. When the doctors showed up they brought up two possibilities. First and most likely was that maybe while getting so worked up with the suctioning he refluxed and aspirated it causing him to choke and gasp for air. Second possibility was an asthma attack although no wheezing had been noted. The electrolyte testing came back normal. There was no explanation to the PVC's but I was reassured that they happen to people all the time and we just don't know it. The hope is that we just caught a random occurrence on the monitor and that his heart just resumes it's regular beating. They also assured me that the PVC's had no correlation to the gasping episodes. The doctors were confident after watching his stats all day that he was fine. We were discharged around 4pm. It was great to be home and cuddling my other babies too. Jackson's hospital roommate was a baby the same age as Alexa and it broke my heart listening to him scream every time the nurses came in. Children's hospitals are such a sad place to be. Being home with my rugrats was the boost to my mood that I needed. Jackson had no other weird breathing episodes. Thank. God.

6 weeks

The days seem to be running together this week, making it harder to keep up with these weekly posts. It's so hard to think back to the beginning of the week.

My precious baby boy, you have become so enjoyable. The smiles make taking care of you so much more rewarding. I still well up with tears every time you smile at me. You've begun cooing at us too. Every time I hear you I can't stop my mind from wandering and thinking about what your voice will sound like. I imagine the day when you say "Momma" or "Dadda" and I smile. I certainly don't want to rush these moments but I get so excited thinking about the future.

Feeding: It's getting more difficult to say exactly how much you're eating these days. Some bottles are 4oz and you're perfectly content with that. Others are 5oz and you suck them dry. We're still trying to keep you on an every 4 hours schedule but some days that's impossible. Growth spurt maybe?

Sleep/Awake Time: This week we started letting you spend time on your play mat. You don't stay occupied for long but it does give you a new type of stimulation.

Diapering: Still in size 1's

Clothing: Everything is getting a bit snug but I'm trying to hang in there with the size 0-3 month winter clothes. The warmer weather is right around the corner and I'd hate to buy another winter wardrobe in a bigger size when you have a closet full of summer clothes. I'm so excited to see your chubby little legs in shorts. This week I bought you a super cute one piece outfit that says "Crabby but Cute". Love it!!

Outings: Household errands have been the majority of our outings this week. We took a trip to KMart and Target to pick up candy and prizes for our Easter egg hunt. I even found an Easter basket for you that matches Alexa's. Now the two big kids have matching baskets and the two little kids have matching baskets. Other outings include a trip to Pathmark for food shopping where Mommy had to pull both you and your sister in a cart behind me and push the cart full of food in front of me. Fun times being the Mommy of two babies. This week the most exciting outing was your first trip to the zoo. You of course slept thru most of it.

Bath Time: My sweet love bug, I love giving you a bath now that you seem to enjoy it. You're just so relaxed. You love when I squeeze the washcloth full of water over your tummy. You squirm when I wash in between your toes. You're so ticklish.

6 weeks ago I was staring at my brand new baby boy. I was studying each and every inch of your body...memorizing your smell...trying to burn the sound of your cry into my brain. I never want to forget these beginning days but it happens. Inevitably. And some day I'll look at you and wonder where the time went. I'll shed a tear when I look at pictures of you when you were only 6 weeks old. For now I'll walk away from the computer and cuddle you. I'll kiss your chubby cheek and sniff your bald head and love every minute of it.